Wednesday, December 21, 2011
'Tis the Season to be Manic.
No matter how many meds you take, once bipolar, always bipolar when it comes to spending. These days, when it comes to making expensive purchases, I hesitate. But sometimes, when I swipe that card, I get that feeling—the tingles. My old manic residue comes alive and says, “Bruce, well it sure has been a long time. Well, what would you like to buy today?” Well, I’m not working steady, I tell him. “Stop! I didn’t ask you that,” he responds. And then I’m in trouble.
I must be strong and fight my mental impulses. Hmm, well, I want to get my wife diamond earrings and my kids a train and a guitar, and while I’m at it, I can sure use an Ipad, and what about going to that hot new restaurant. But this leads to another problem. Mr. Manic wakes up Mr. Anxiety, and he really drives me nuts. I’ve been in too many stores spending away, and it suddenly becomes too much. I’ve spent hours trying to pick out duffle bags and sneakers. I become obsessed with fabrics and zippers. And then comes the sweating and the panic (imaginary heart-attack) attacks.
I don’t have to tell you guys, the holidays aren’t about spending. That it’s about family. But unfortunately, between the advertising and the peer pressure, it’s tough to ignore, and to balance. But do your best. This season, be merry, tell your loved ones you love them, volunteer at a shelter, put on a blinking red nose, and give your dog filet mignon (just kidding). Do whatever makes you feel good. Just be careful about spending money that you don’t have, because you’ll only pay for it later—in credit card interest. There’s nothing worse than buying somebody a stupid smelling candle and not being able to pay for it until 2026—whew, do the math on that one!
This piece was originally posted at my blog @ BPhope.com
Check out my other posts on mental health every Tuesday.
Happy holidays to you and your family.